Nash, “Let’s Talk About Polygamy” (Reviewed by Amanda Rae)

Let's Talk about Polygamy - Deseret Book Review ====== Title: Let’s Talk About Polygamy Author: Brittany Chapman Nash Publisher: Deseret book Genre: History Year Published: 2021 Number of Pages: 144 Binding: Paper ISBN: 9781629728230 Price: 11.99 Reviewed by Amanda Ray for the Association of Mormon Letters My Mormon heritage goes way back to the early days of the Church, and as such, I have a fair number of polygamists in my family tree. It’s been an accepted part of my story that I admittedly haven’t fully understood. I was immediately interested in the new “Let’s Talk About” series from Deseret Book that tackles complicated topics with bite-sized information compiled by scholars. This is in no way meant to lessen the impact of the aim or content of Let’s Talk About Polygamy, is written by Brittany Chapman Nash in a way that keeps a lighter tone and presents information clearly and succinctly, allowing for a wider range of readers to understand the topic. A major benefit of this short book is the concise way Nash gives to the ideas and reasons behind polygamy. Her book is separated into three sections: chronology of the practice, the how and why of polygamy, and then firsthand accounts from those who were in polygamous relationships. I wasn’t aware of the fuller context of how polygamy came about and the realities of how real people like my ancestors functioned with it. While reading, my concept of polygamy went from a curiosity and the butt of jokes to a more contemplative and even reverent way of looking at it. So many people struggled and wrestled with polygamy, and arrived at it through prayer and study and faith that they would be led in how to do it. My favorite chapter was the one entitled “How Did Polygamy Work?” as this gave me more of the nuts and bolts of the practice that I’ve always wondered about. It includes how polygamist marriages came about, with husbands seeking permission from their first wives and from church leaders, and includes an amusing anecdote of one man on the frontier with three wives who requested permission from Brigham Young to marry again, and President Young responding that he better change his lifestyle and become more civilized “for I know no woman worth a groat who would be willing to agree with your wild unsocial ways for any length of time.” One wonders how the man’s three other wives felt! The chapter discusses the living arrangements used for practical or family reasons, how women felt both protected and cared for by their husbands but also may have had to take on the head of household roles and be more independent than women in monogamous marriages of the time. Of special interest to me was reading the words of so many women who were polygamous wives, who all had a variety of perspectives on the practice – some struggled with it while others seemed to flourish with it. Then to learn how many of them reacted to the Manifesto ending the practice was bittersweet and tender, as it left their family dynamics in a whirl, and their relationships with sister wives, husbands, and children unknown. When you’re contemplating the eternities and have come to love your sister wives with fierceness, raising their children with your own, and making your eternal family work, then to find out that the practice is going away had to have been traumatizing. Nash includes these stories, along with those who suffered under polygamy and did not necessarily flourish, who did not find the love and companionship they wanted, or even felt abandoned. It was remarkable to learn that divorce was not as uncommon as we might think. If you do want to dive into the topic more, Nash leaves excellent endnotes and further reading, and you’ll have a good broad context as you find out more. That, I think, is the key for Let’s Talk About Polygamy: gaining baseline knowledge to work from that can break up some common misconceptions and open you up to a deeper understanding. Nash doesn’t shy away from the darker aspects of the practice of polygamy but encourages the reader to “find meaning in [the] devotion” of the Saints who lived it. You’re left with plenty to continue to talk about.