Review
Title: Living on the Inside of the Edge: A Survival Guide
Author: Christian Kimball
Publisher: BCC Press
Genre: Religious Non-fiction
Year Published: 2023
Number of Pages: 320
Binding: Trade Paperback
ISBN: 9781948218788
Price: $12.71
Reviewed by Kevin Folkman for the Association for Mormon Letters
I recently bought a new pair of athletic shoes, the same brand that I have been wearing for fifteen years. I have always bought the same size, regardless of the model, and worn them comfortably. I was so confident about the fit that I didn’t even try them on. When I got home and wore them around the house, I immediately sensed that these were different, and after an hour or so, it became obvious that they were not working out, and I had to return them. The standard size no longer fits. Is it that the brand has changed how they make their shoes or are my feet changing as I get older? Do I change brands, or do I look for a different model in the same brand?
Some members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints may feel that their relationship with the Church is like those new shoes. Something that seemed so comfortable no longer feels the same. We may have changed, or it may be something that changed in the Church itself.
Christian Kimball’s new book, Living on the Inside of the Edge: A Survival Guide, is not a book about the Church itself, nor as Kimball makes clear, a memoir. It is not about theology or history. It is a self-help book for members of the Church who find themselves at odds with or feeling somehow distant from the center of the church. The center is calm, comfortable, and familiar. Away from that center, members may have second thoughts about doctrine, policy, church history, or their relationship with the church. Call them cafeteria Mormons, middle-way Mormons, heterodox, or other descriptions, they are members who no longer feel as at home in the pews as they used to. Whatever they are called they may be questioning their affiliation with the Church that used to be so comfortable.
Kimball himself is one of those “living on the inside of the edge,” a grandson of Church President Spencer W. Kimball and former bishop who finds himself at odds with the church and culture that he grew up in. He is not interested in telling anyone to stay in the Church, to leave, or to try and change the Church from the inside. He instead wants those who may need this book to gain some self-knowledge and make decisions for themselves. As he explains in his introduction, after being released as bishop, surviving a bout with cancer, and reaching the end of his career, “This book is the voice of an old man living on bonus time, having nothing to lose, telling the no-apologies real stuff from his point of view and life experience” [p 9].
What follows is a series of chapters about working with yourself, working with the institution of the church, and working with the church culture. In the chapters about working with yourself, Kimball encourages those dealing with discomfort to try and develop an adult-to-adult relationship with the Church, rather than a parent-child relationship. Such a relationship, based on personal differentiation, can often prevent binary thinking, a dangerous mode, according to Kimball:
Conform or leave is precarious. In or out is an in-your-face challenge. Differentiating almost always opens up options, alternatives, middle grounds, and personal choices. Having options and knowing you have options can be essential to survival on the inside of the edge. [p 16]
Kimball then writes about working with the institution of the Church. This section includes talking with the bishop, temple recommend interviews, callings, and Membership Councils (formerly disciplinary councils). For some, avoiding these contacts with the Church may be the answer. Some may choose to leave activity or sever their membership completely. Kimball makes no attempt to suggest what individuals should do. He wants his experience to help others who may be off balance in their relationship with the Church to have the tools necessary to figure out what to do that is best for them.
A section about working with the culture deals with understanding that there are real differences between policy and doctrine:
Very quickly it becomes apparent that the distinction between church and gospel, and between policy and doctrine, are artificial and instrumental, i.e., made up with an end in mind…if you’re looking for an exception or want to feel good about cafeteria style Mormonism, you tend to describe lots of things as policy or practice, where others would call them doctrine. [p 164]
There are also what he calls shibboleths, or the insider language and activities that we use to self-identify as members of the Church. This includes the language of prayer, interpretations of certain commandments, and even the clothing that we wear. As Kimball points out, these cultural markers are not enforced or policed by the Church itself, but by members and the culture.
Questions about policy vs. doctrine or orthodoxy vs. heterodoxy can often lead to misunderstanding, contention, and even anger. Living near the edge, Kimball explains, is going to result in difficult situations and conversations. He suggests understanding that “You are not going to win. You will not persuade the world.” Contention often happens when someone asserts authority for their positions, and authority seldom backs down. Additionally, people seldom are persuaded to change their preconceptions. Play the long game, Kimball proposes, and value relationships so that you can continue to participate in future meaningful discussions. Pick your battles and maintain that long-term perspective.
The final section may be the most interesting, as Kimball invited friends and colleagues to write sections on how they have dealt with specific circumstances that have pushed them from the center toward the edge. The voices of women, singles, blacks, gay members, and others are represented to show how they deal with the complicated issues that can make someone feel less at home in the pews.
“If we want [as women] to remain in the Church,” Susan Meredith Hinckley writes, “women must be willing to accept, overlook, and in some ways sacrifice more than men do. There—I said it.” [p 212]
Mara Haslam writes that “It’s hard to be single in a church and culture that treats you as less than an adult, that sends the message that you have failed at achieving life’s primary goal…because you haven’t married.” [p 228]
Gay member David Doyle says that the “…choice to leave is always in front of me…It can be exhausting…I have to swim upstream to stay in this church.” [p 242]
“Every race-related issue I have come across in the Church,” writes James Jones, “has come down to an ignorance of, apathy about, or hostility toward Black people and their experiences” [p 258]
There are several entries about raising families in complicated circumstances, acknowledging that trying to keep young people in the Church is an ongoing and difficult problem without any easy answers.
While Kimball’s primary audience in Living on the Inside of the Edge may be the members going through these experiences, the secondary, and perhaps more important audience may be the regular members and especially leaders who are firmly planted in the center. Understanding is the first step to empathy. A close friend of Kimball’s who is a current sitting bishop asked him, “Tell me how I can minister to your readers, to members of my congregation who need and want this book.” As such, this book is just as important for those who don’t question, who don’t see issues, but are called to minister, love, and serve all of God’s people. In other words, all of us.