Writer and Professor David C. Dollahite presents new nonfiction born of a BYU English class assignment, adopted by Gene England in an edited volume, and now fully fledged in a book-length version from BCC Press.
I was asked to write about my new book God’s Tender Mercies: Sacred Experiences of a Mormon Convert (BCC Press, 2018). A brief introduction to the book as well as an excerpt that provides an example of the content in the book is available at the By Common Consent website. The book is a “spiritual autobiography” of my first few years as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to which I was converted in my late teens. A few months after my baptism, I wrote an account of my conversion for an assignment in an English class at BYU. About ten years later, Gene England asked me to write an account of my experience that was published in his edited volume, Converted to Christ Through the Book of Mormon. This book provides an expanded account of my conversion as well as a number of other experiences in which I felt the influence of the Lord in one way or another.
In the introduction to the book, I discuss my own challenges in writing these accounts including abiding concerns about my ability to write adequately about profoundly personal sacred experiences. In an appendix (see below), I discuss the challenges we all face in writing sacred experiences, encourage Latter-day Saints to make the effort to do so, and provide some suggestions I hope might help in doing so. Each of the thirty chapters of the book contains accounts of experiences told, as much as possible, from my perspective as a new, young convert followed by a concluding section titled “Tender Mercies and Lessons Learned” in which I reflect on those experiences and what they meant to me then and now.
With the publisher’s permission I have included that appendix as I think it might be the part of the book that is most relevant to LDS authors.
Appendix A
Sharing Sacred Experiences
In this appendix, I reflect on the process of writing sacred experiences, provide my views about the nature of sacred experiences like the ones I will share, and discuss some of the challenges of sharing and receiving personal accounts of sacred experiences. I do so to provide some context for the experiences I share. At the end of this Appendix, I discuss some thoughts or tips on what to do (and not do) when recording and sharing your own sacred experiences with others. I do this in hopes of encouraging you, dear reader, to record and share your own sacred experiences.
When I use the term sacred experiences I mean experiences that are deeply important and meaningful in one’s life. While the scriptures include accounts of those who have seen divine beings (God and angels) with their eyes, I have not. Though I know people who have, I have never heard the voice of God audibly. Thus, when I say I will share a number of my personal “sacred experiences” I am referring to times when I felt powerful spiritual influence (e.g., spiritual guidance, comfort, warning, inspiration).
Many of the experiences I share in this book were times when I felt like the Lord intervened in some way in my life. I realize that not everyone who reads these experiences will agree with me that God was involved in that series of events that I report. One person’s sacred experience might be another person’s silly coincidence. A reasonable person could say that I experienced a fortunate coincidence, a happy accident, or a lucky break. When it comes to coincidences, I am tempted to refer to Leroy Jethro Gibbs of the TV show NCIS and his Rule 39: There Are No Coincidences. However, I am willing to grant that there are some coincidences in life; but I believe that the sacred experiences I share herein are not among them.
Nearly everyone who knows highly religious people has heard someone share an experience that the person sharing thought was a clear example of God working in their life. If we ourselves believe in God, and believe that God can and does communicate with people and intervene in their lives, we are more inclined to accept someone’s story of divine intervention at face value. However, even those of us who, because of our own beliefs and experiences, are inclined to believe in such things, have likely heard of someone’s “spiritual experience” that we find troubling or hard to believe for some reason. One of the things I love most about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is that it teaches that we don’t have to rely on the word of someone else — even the word of prophets, apostles, or even God — but rather we have the right and privilege (and responsibility) to ask God to reveal the truth of religious teachings to us and that God will do so by the power of the Holy Ghost.
Challenges Involved in Sharing Sacred Experiences Publicly
Sharing and hearing stories of sacred experiences is part and parcel of being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The LDS Church began with the prophet Joseph Smith’s religious experience in the Sacred Grove in Palmyra, New York. Joseph wrote multiple accounts of his First Vision. Our missionaries share one of Joseph’s accounts of that experience — the first one published — in the lessons they teach to those who want to hear more about Mormonism. Furthermore, the Book of Mormon consists of many stories of sacred experiences written by prophets. Latter-day Saints are enjoined to write their own personal histories including a record of their sacred experiences. Latter-day Saint prophets and apostles share sacred experiences in conferences. Across the earth, local LDS leaders and members share sacred experiences in meetings and classes and Family Home Evenings. Indeed, a distinctive and essential part of being a Mormon is to listen to, record, and share sacred experiences. However, there are some challenges and limitations in this process that I think are important to mention in a book, like this one, that consists largely of an account of sacred experiences.
My goal was to create a record of the Lord’s tender mercies toward me in my early spiritual development, of many of my most important spiritual experiences, and to reflect on what I learned from them. Given that this is a record intended for the spiritual edification of my posterity as well as others, I desire that it be as accurate as possible. To ensure the greatest amount of accuracy I have consulted various written materials (journals, diaries, newspaper clippings, calendars, emails, etc.), as well as, where possible, conversations and interviews with those whose memory and records would supplement — and in some cases, correct — my own. I cannot claim there are no errors. Indeed, given the fallibility of my own memory, the limitations of my own perspectives, and my tendency to attend to some things better than others, I am certain there are errors. I believe they are minor and hope they will not detract from the overall message of this volume.
I wish I had kept a regular, detailed journal of my experiences throughout my four decades in the Church. Except for sporadic efforts in my first year in the Church, and an all-too-cryptic missionary journal, I have not regularly kept a personal journal. I am sorry to say that a couple of years after joining the Church, I allowed a statement by a priesthood leader I greatly respected to discourage me from keeping a journal. When I told him that I was having a hard time getting into the habit of keeping a regular journal he said, “Well, I have never kept a journal. I never want to look back.” Something about that greatly appealed to me and I decided I wanted to be the kind of person who “never looked back” and so I never really made myself develop the incredibly valuable habit of keeping a journal. However, I have told a number of these experiences numerous times over the years to various individuals and groups so they have remained fresh in my mind.
I have done my best to remember and accurately record the experiences I was blessed with, but I am sure I have forgotten or overlooked important things and made some mistakes. I have learned over the years that my recollection and others’ recollections of the same events do not always perfectly match. I have also learned that I forget or misremember things and exactly what was said by whom. In telling my experiences, often I will use “remembered dialogue” or my memory of who said what to whom. My memory is imperfect, however, and while I do my best to record what others and I said to each other, I am sure I do not always provide a completely accurate account of what actually was said. All I can do is be as careful as possible and record my recollections to the best of my ability. Again, I apologize to anyone to whom I might have “put words in your mouth” that you did not actually say or impute motives to you that were not actually there. My intention was always to be as generous as possible.
While I will not excuse myself from any errors that remain, I admit that I take some comfort from Joseph Smith’s statement about the Book of Mormon that this sacred book was the “most correct” book on earth (but he did not say it was perfect) and from the scriptural statements of prophet-authors in the Book of Mormon itself that there may be “mistakes” (Title Page), “imperfections” (Mormon 8:12; 9:31), and errors (1 Nephi 19:6), and who apologized for their own “weakness in writing” (Ether 12:23–25).
I find it meaningful that even in sacred scripture the titles of various books typically include the name of person who wrote the record so it is, for example the Book of Nephi (not Book of What Actually Happened to Nephi), or the Book of Alma (not the Book of God About Alma), or the Book of Enos (not the Factual Account About Enos by His Guardian Angel), or the Book of Mormon (not the Book About Moroni’s Actual Behaviors). In other words, much of sacred scripture are personal accounts of people’s personal sacred experiences rather than Objective Facts About Sacred Events.
While some may think of scripture as consisting mainly of long sermons, lists of commandments, and boring history, the Book of Mormon is filled with deeply personal accounts of individual and family joy and sorrow, success and failure, righteousness and wickedness, and patience and anger. Indeed, the level of intense personal expression in the writing in scripture is profound. Some examples include: Nephi’s Psalm (2 Nephi 4: 16–35) in which Nephi says, “Oh wretched man that I am!” (verse 16) and “my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities” and “my heart groaneth because of my sins” (vs. 17–19); or Alma the Younger’s poignant and detailed account of his conversion to Christ where, for example, he said, “I was racked with eternal torment, for my soul was harrowed up to the greatest degree and racked with all my sins” (Alma 36:12) and, “Oh, thought I, that I could be banished and become extinct both soul and body” (Alma 36:15); or Enos’s deeply personal account in which he writes about the “wrestle which I had before God, before I received a remission of my sins” (Enos 1:2). Among the most poignant stories is when Moroni wrote, “And my father also was killed by them, and I even remain alone to write the sad tale of the destruction of my people (Mormon 8:3) and then mentioned, almost in passing (Mormon 8:10–11) the marvelous sacred experience of being visited by translated beings (the Three Nephites). For me, these and other prophets in the Book of Mormon, are examples of personal expressions of honesty and vulnerability in writing about one’s sacred experiences.
On August 1, 2017, the Deseret News (a newspaper owned by the LDS Church) published a story about much-loved and respected Apostle Jeffrey R. Holland’s telling of a missionary experience to missionaries at the Missionary Training Center. It turns out that some of the parts of the story that Elder Holland heard and then retold were embellished by the person from whom he had heard the story. Embellishing stories is a profoundly human activity and the vast majority of human beings are liable to participate in this process. Keith Erekson, Director of the LDS Church History Museum was quoted in this article saying, “Maybe this is an opportunity to invite people to tell their stories so we have more of them on the record.”
Sadly, this also is a regular occurrence in our church meetings. It is likely that we all have engaged in this process in one way or another. For example, when my wife and I were newly married, we attended a ward (congregation) of young married students at BYU. In a Sacrament Meeting, Mary and I heard a wonderfully inspirational — indeed miraculous — story. The person who shared the story indicated that the experience occurred to “a friend of my mother.” We shared the experience with Mary’s family that evening. Mary’s father was a careful LDS historian and said that he had heard a similar story shared by someone else. He suggested that we ask the person who told the story if they could request their mother to ask her friend to write down the experience with as much detail as possible. We did so. Our ward member got back with us a few days later and mentioned that the mother said that the experience actually happened to “a friend of a friend” and when she asked her mother to try to identify the person it actually happened to it turned out that nobody really knew the person to which the experience happened.
As we, and other religious people, and other human beings, often do, we share stories of great experiences and, almost inevitably, we consciously or unconsciously add or subtract from what we heard or read. In telling our own experiences we all know how easy it is to embellish certain details just a little. And then the next person that tells the story might misremember or, perhaps consciously or unconsciously, embellish a detail or two here or there. And pretty soon we have a “faith-promoting rumor” (to use the popular LDS term for such stories).
Since this experience, I have tried to be much more careful in what I am willing to share of sacred experiences that I do not know for certain occurred — either to me or someone I know and trust who said the experience happened to them (not to a friend or family member). I have also tried to be much more careful to not embellish the story — either of my own experience or someone else’s. Human beings are story-telling beings and we love — indeed live for — a great story. But as religious people, we need to do our best to tell the truth when we share sacred experiences. We owe this to the Lord, to those we share experiences with, and to ourselves.
Sunday School Class on Writing Sacred Experiences
One of the sweetest and most sacred experiences I have had in four wonderful decades of membership in the LDS Church was the two years I spent teaching a Sunday School class that the bishop allowed me to develop on Writing Sacred Experiences. The class fell under my calling as a Ward Family History Consultant. My approach was to have class members take turns reading from our personal histories those parts that recounted sacred experiences and then counsel together about what we can learn from what we heard about how to record our own sacred experiences.
During the class, I was able to read much of an earlier draft of the text of this book to students so those who had never written their spiritual experiences would have an example of one way to approach doing that. I also shared my thoughts and facilitated class discussions on ways to handle challenging situations such as writing about less-than-ideal (read: very challenging, discouraging, depressing) times and circumstances and experiences from our lives. Some class members had very troubling childhoods that included very negative experiences (e.g., abuse, neglect, dysfunctional families) and understandably struggled to know how and what to write about that. Others had a variety of spiritual challenges such as unanswered prayers or blessings, religious doubts and faith crises, or difficulty identifying inspiration and revelation. We all struggled with how to write about tough times and experiences in ways that were “faith-promoting” or “uplifting” or otherwise helpful to our intended readers.
It was wonderful to counsel together under the direction of the Holy Spirit about how to think about these challenges. I tried to avoid offering easy answers to these challenging questions and dilemmas and to remind us that there is no simple formula for addressing such quandaries. But the Spirit can guide each of us in our own circumstances to fulfill the divine invitation to keep sacred records. Each Sunday, we read and briefly discussed the different ways to understand some passages from the Book of Moses about how Adam kept a sacred record.
And a book of remembrance was kept, in the which was recorded, in the language of Adam, for it was given unto as many as called upon God to write by the spirit of inspiration; And by them their children were taught to read and write, having a language which was pure and undefiled. Now this same Priesthood, which was in the beginning, shall be in the end of the world also. (Moses 6:5–7)
These verses are full of meaning for those of us in these latter days but the one I want to mention here is, “for it was given unto as many as called upon God to write by the spirit of inspiration” since that promises us that when we undertake to record our sacred experiences we can have the blessing of spiritual assistance from the Lord if we earnestly seek it.
As you read the accounts of sacred experiences found in this volume, I sincerely hope that you will be reminded of those times in your own life that the Lord has blessed you, guided you, inspired you, warned you, protected you, taught you, sent people to bless and teach you, and in every way shown His tender mercies to you. I hope that this book helps encourage you in your own efforts to record your sacred experiences for the benefit of your family and friends. I hope that by seeing my weak efforts to write the things of my soul that you will know that if I can do it you can too.
Over the four decades since I converted to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in my late teens, I have been asked many times to tell about my conversion and early experiences in the Church in various settings. Often those who heard my story encouraged me to write my experiences for the benefit of others. I was asked to write my conversion for a book called Converted to Christ Through the Book of Mormon edited by Eugene England (Deseret Book, 1989). That book contains a brief account of my initial conversion but nothing about the months and years that followed. I was asked to give a BYU Devotional and, in the limited time I had to speak, shared parts of my conversion experience. Until preparing this volume, I had not made a more complete account of the many tender mercies the Lord blessed me with in the first several years of my membership in the Church. There are various reasons why accounts may vary including different audiences, growth of our understanding and perspective over time, different purposes for each account, and time constraints; for example, my BYU Devotional was limited to twenty-five minutes so I had to leave out a number of things that happened during my conversion while attempting to reflect in depth on what happened.
Over the years as I have worked on the accounts of the sacred experiences I share in this book I have revised the accounts as new information has come to light (typically from hearing others talk about their part of my experience) or as I have thought more about the experience and, often with the help of the Holy Spirit, remembered some part of the experience that I had forgotten. Also, as I thought about the possible effect of my words on others, each time I revised I tried to be more careful, more generous to others, more sensitive to others’ perspectives and experiences, and more humbly grateful for the Lord’s part in the experience.
Two (or more) people can have the “same experience” or witness the “same events” and, for a variety of reasons, have different experiences, recollections, attitudes, and emotions about that experience or event. In fact, in a court of law, if multiple witnesses’ stories are too similar in details and expression, it often is assumed that they are colluding on their testimony (they have agreed together what story to tell). About the varied accounts that Joseph Smith wrote of his vision, the Gospel Topics essay on First Vision Accounts on the official LDS website states:
The various accounts of the First Vision tell a consistent story, though naturally they differ in emphasis and detail. Historians expect that when an individual retells an experience in multiple settings to different audiences over many years, each account will emphasize various aspects of the experience and contain unique details. Indeed, differences similar to those in the First Vision accounts exist in the multiple scriptural accounts of Paul’s vision on the road to Damascus and the Apostles’ experience on the Mount of Transfiguration. Yet despite the differences, a basic consistency remains across all the accounts of the First Vision. Some have mistakenly argued that any variation in the retelling of the story is evidence of fabrication. To the contrary, the rich historical record enables us to learn more about this remarkable event than we could if it were less well documented.
I have benefited by reading and hearing others’ perspectives on our shared experiences. My first mission companion, Wayne Buhler, allowed me to see his journal from when we were together. He kept a much more detailed journal than I did and this allowed me to add or correct some information from my own journal and recollection.
When people record and share their own sacred experiences it is incumbent on them to attend to certain issues. Inspired by President Gordon B. Hinckley’s list of “Bs” given to the youth of the Church, I would suggest that those of us who record and share publicly sacred experiences try to attend to the following:
- Be honest. Avoid embellishing the story and just report what actually happened. Also, try to “speak the truth in love” so that you are an authentic but inoffensive witness of the goodness of God.
• Be careful. Try to get the facts (names, dates, places) right so that you place your experience in context and make it easier for others to connect with your experience.
• Be humble. Remember to give glory to God and to other people who were involved in your sacred experience.
• Be faithful. Share your experience in a way that builds faith in the living God and turns the hearts of your readers/listeners to their Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
• Be compassionate. Be aware of the implications of your experience for others who have not yet obtained the blessings you are writing/speaking about and be compassionate toward those who, for whatever reason, might be hurt, offended, or otherwise bothered by your story.
• Be generous. Give others who are involved in your experience the benefit of the doubt about their motivations and intentions — especially when the experience was not necessarily a positive one for you.
• Be open. Remain willing to revise your account of the experience in order to be more consistent with what you learn from others who might have been part of the experience and have different recollections, feelings, or thoughts than you about what occurred or what it means.
I would like to say that I perfectly follow my own advice in every account of my experiences in this book; while I tried to do so, I’m sure that I have failed in some instances. My intent is to provide an accurate and honest and open and faithful account of my own sacred experiences to bear an authentic witness of the goodness of God in my own life. If you are aware of mistakes and errors in this volume of any nature, I invite you to correct me privately and/or publicly. I welcome having the record set straight on any aspect of what I have written.
I hope that reading this book has prompted you to think of times in your life when the Lord and His servants have touched your soul, enlightened your mind, sent others into your life to bless you, and helped you recognize the workings of the Holy Spirit. I invite you to record and share those sacred times when you have received the eternal into your life. Doing so will be a blessing for you, for others, and for future generations.
My whole intention is to lift and build people. If anything that I have written in any way offends any of the people I have mentioned or their friends and loved ones, I apologize and ask for your forgiveness. I would love to be able to do so personally and/or publicly. Please let me know how I can do so.
Please feel free to email me at: davidcdollahite@gmail.com.