Review
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Title: Will My Child Be Ready
Author: Edited by Emily Freeman and Merrilee Boyack
Publisher: Deseret Book
Genre: Non-fiction
Year: 2015
Pages: 139
Binding: Paperback
ISBN-13: 978-1-62972-043-2
Price: $16.99
Reviewed by Jaymie Reynolds for the Association for Mormon Letters
Motherhood is an element of life rife with paradox. Paradox drives both passion and fear as we invest ourselves ever more deeply in the lives of our children. It is seen in the mother who strives diligently to “train up her child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6) and fails to see how well she is truly doing. It is a time-tested theme of mothering that mothers who work so hard to raise happy, successful adults often feel farther away from accomplishing these tasks as their children near these goals. Time and our own inadequacies nip at our heels as we move steadily faster to chase hopes that often seem increasingly out of reach. The authors and editors of the new book “Will My Child Be Ready?” recognize this paradigm of mothering.
Mothers themselves, Emily Freeman and Merrilee Boyack preface the book with a nod to all mothers who struggle with feelings of inadequacy while wrestling with a sincere desire to guide their children. They state, “Our most important advice is simply this: don’t worry about what you have or haven’t accomplished up to this point. Start where you are. When we gathered together as mothers to put down these thoughts, our biggest concern was that we would overwhelm you.” Parenting is, by nature, a daunting task. Freeman and Boyack offer their latest book, not to increase that pressure, but rather to give parents tools to ease the worry.
Whether parents write them down or not, all parents have some sort of checklist that shapes how they interact with their children. That interaction will, at least in part, determine if our children are ready for the lives that they will live. Vague or specific, we all have hopes for our little ones. In the LDS culture — the audience the authors focus on throughout the pages of this book — it is a frequent occurrence for children and their parents to plan for a child’s missionary service. Many children are raised with the expectation that, when they reach the appropriate age, they will dedicate a year and a half to two years in the full-time service of the Lord. At times, we forget that there is a very specific set of life-skills needed for each child to get the most out of their missionary years. During other times, we may feel completely overwhelmed by frustration that perhaps our efforts won’t be enough.
In an attempt to better arm LDS children by better arming their parents, Freeman and Boyack got together with other missionary moms and put together a collection of essays meant to give parents their own tools for success. They state, “We didn’t want to leave out something that might make a difference in the preparation process. So we included everything that we thought might prove helpful and we now place it in your hands, with this caveat: read with the Spirit to know which parts will be helpful to you in preparing your child.” It seems that, rather than being scribed as a one-size fits all prescription for achievement, this book has been created as a one-size catch-all of resource material.
“Will My Child Be Ready?” focuses on the pat church answers that readers have come to expect within the context of preparing for life and missionary work. With essays on sacrifice, obedience, and temple worthiness, parents will find real-world advice to guide them through helping their sons and daughters grow and develop spiritually into the giants they hope these children will become. One of the advantages readers may find within these pages is the commentary of multiple authors. Some may relate well to Boyack’s straightforward declarations of fact. Others will relate more easily to Freeman’s slightly humorous accounts of times when gaps in learning showed up as she interacted with her children. The different authors do include several examples to illustrate the ideas being taught.
In addition to the spiritual side of life preparation, the mothers who shaped this text have chosen to focus on temporal skills that are critical to success as children leave home and enter the Lord’s service far from home. Teaching independence when kids are young and in a safe environment helps them to be more capable and confident later when the pressure is on and parents are far distant. Building a love of work enables missionaries to enter the routines and demands of mission work wholeheartedly. Even skills like developing gratitude, recognizing miracles, and building relationships with others (skills that fall in both the temporal and spiritual elements of life) are discussed with an eye to helping parents help their children to be ready when the time comes.
While there are some minor grammatical errors — run-on sentences and the like — this book is well-structured and easy to read. It is structured in a manner that allows readers to read straight through as they would a novel or to pick piecemeal through the pages as they would a reference book. Each chapter has three sections at the end to help parents implement the values discussed: what they need to know, what they need to do, and what they need to be. Parents (and even their pre-teen and teenage children) may well find this to be the most valuable element of this text. It summarizes and breaks down the ideals into lists that are simple to remember and apply.
The mothers who have created “Will My Child Be Ready?” understand their material and their audience. They write based on their own experiences and the needs of their own children. Many readers will find that the time invested in reading this book and applying the elements for the benefit of their own individual families will enrich their relationships and better prepare both children and parents for the exciting adventures ahead.